SO, WHO’S YOUR FAVORITE FAKE BAND?

That’s not really a serious question. But if it were, you might have to think about what constitutes a fake band is in the first place. We know there’s such a thing as air guitar competitions, but could there be showdowns for entire air bands, too? Answer to that one: let’s hope not. Maybe it could refer to ‘musicians’ like the infamous fake lip-synching Milli Vanilli? No, it turns out that fake bands are the fictional bands mentioned on TV and in the movies, that don’t exist out here in the real world. Unlike air guitar players, which do exist in the real world. And let me tell you, however many fake bands you might be able to name, I can pretty safely guarantee you will leave out most of them. Unless you happen to be a fellow named T. Mike Childs, and you’ve written a book called “The Rocklopedia Fakebandica.” I bought a copy of this book; it’s a terrific pop culture reference, and really comprehensive. Anyway, since a great many bands mentioned in movies, TV etc. don’t have actual recordings we can physically listen to, it would be pretty difficult to pick your fave, right? Let’s not be too hasty…

The other day I got in a groove on the WWW, one site leading to another, and I ended up in some pages for the popular TV show LOST. After what I saw online, I’m obviously not the biggest LOST fanatic out there, but I do watch all the new episodes (and let the machine pick-up when they’re on) and catch as many re-runs as possible (if you’re a LOST fan to any degree, you’ll understand the absolute necessity of watching re-runs). Anyway, I went from the Wikipedia page about driveSHAFT (which all LOSTies will immediately recognize as Charlie’s rock band before his unscheduled tropical vacation) to an actual website for the driveSHAFT. I just have to repeat that. There’s an actual website devoted to information on tours, albums etc about a band that doesn’t exist. You know, I have to say I quite like the idea, bending fiction and reality like that. We didn’t really get much of a taste of driveSHAFT’s music on LOST, but I have to admit that the one phrase “you-all everybody” did stick in my head. I may have even hummed it once or twice in the supermarket, and I could even repeat it for you now, if pressed. Does that make them my favorite fake band? Probably as close as it’s going to get.

Here’s a YT video of an air guitar competition. Feel free to sample as much or a little as you fancy. It seems that air guitar is a global thing, but the crème de la crème all go to Oulu, Finland for the annual World Air Guitar Championships, and have been since 1996. I could probably crack wise here about the necessity of any kind of entertainment on those desperately long cold Finnish winters, but I won’t; Finland has never done anything to me. Oh, and BTW, if you go to the driveSHAFT website, you’ll notice it’s called “Second Tour of Finland” (italics mine). Coincidence? Is anything a coincidence?

Well, to end on a non-fake note, here is some classic Woodstock footage that many consider to contain the first public air guitar (and possibly a little air keyboard too?) moment. I’m talkin’ about Joe Cocker. I don’t know about fake bands, but I sure like listening to this real one!

One last quick mention. If you buy a copy of T. Mike’s book, it won’t have an entry for driveSHAFT, because it was released the same year as LOST’s first season (2004). But the website is up to date, with lots of other fictional bands. Maybe we can expect a second volume or an updated version. After all, new fake bands are born every day.

GET LOST - a post not, strictly speaking, about rock and roll

In addition to my interest in the golden oldies, I'm also a big fan of pop culture. Because of that I'm going to make a brief diversion here, and please, I beg you, humor me. Last night, I willingly gave up two hours of my life to watch a special "re-cap" program on the TV show Lost. It was designed to reawaken our waning (or totally dormant) enthusiasm for this show. It was meant to hook us back in. And, grudgingly, I admit...it worked (for me anyway). As Charlie Brown used to say, "Aaaarrrgh!" If you've been one of the frustrated followers of Lost, you know what I mean. Tonight is another two-hour special, namely the season premiere (never mind that it wasn't even on during the Fall of '07). If I could say one thing to the producers it would be, "Don't you dare try to tell me again that there will be 'answers'! I am not falling for that one any more!" Apparently, there will be a few more seasons doled out here and there (when did TV scheduling get so chopped up and...and...stupid?) before Lost wraps up for good. All I ask is that when the time comes, we actually do learn everything. I think they owe us that. And I'm talking about a real concrete answer-packed finale that satisfies. Not like that wishy-washy ending to the X-Files. Okay, I think I have vented enough now. And just to show you my appreciation, I'll put in a YouTube link to a great oldie by the Everlys. As 60s tragedy songs go, this one isn't as well-known as "Teen Angel" or "Last Kiss" but I'm sure you'll agree it fits the occasion... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ1_sOfCHM4

THE DOWNSIDE OF RECYCLING (music )

As someone who grew up in the 50s and 60s, and thus heard all that great music the first time around, it warms the cockles of my heart every time I discover that some new movie, especially one aimed at the 20-something crowd, has included a song from "my" era. It happens pretty frequently, possibly because a lot of the folks making the movies are older as well. Sometimes a song will be covered and "updated" by a new group, but just as often you can hear the original version being recycled into a new soundtrack. It gives me a good feeling to know that this music is still capable of reaching out to a while new set of ears. But there is one inherent danger for baby boomers in this. Here's what I mean: there are hundred of songs that remind me of my teenage years, and among them, there are a handful of songs that remind me of very specific events or even exact moments in those years. It doesn't matter that decades have gone by since I made the association; just hearing a certain song can take me right back there. But these days, I can be watching a movie or a TV show, and one of the old songs happens to show up in the "wrong place" so to speak, and bingo! - I have a whole new, unwanted association that kind of shoulders its way into my head, rudely pushes the old memory aside, and immediately makes itself at home. So far, I've been fortunate in that every time this has happened to me, it's been with songs that weren't paired up with really important or treasured memories. Take, for example, that scene in Lost when we meet Desmond in the hatch. He's playing Cass Elliott's "Make Your Own Kind of Music." I listened a lot to the Mamas and Papas back in my student days, so hearing any song by them always reminds me of that time in my life, but now, from here on in, whenever I hear "Make Your Own Kind of Music" I will see in my mind's eye Desmond inoculating himself with that awful contraption and making those gross blender shakes. Fortunately for me, I had no special emotional attachment to that particular song, so I can't say I mind all that much. If it had been "Monday Monday" or "Twelve Thirty" I would be in big trouble. Of course, TV commercials that incorporate oldies are a whole other travesty unto themselves. Whether they use the original versions or re-write the lyrics to "fit" the product, they can wreck a nice memory almost before you can react. I'm telling you, when that kind of commercial comes on, I can't dive for the remote and press "mute" fast enough! If you've had the misfortune to catch the Viagra commercial that is a parody of Elvis singing "Viva Las Vegas" then you know what I'm talking about. There oughta be a law! Okay, I think I'm done with my mini-rant. In conclusion, I wish you a day full of your favorite oldies that leave your best old memories unharmed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqXDUMxW1Yw
"Twelve Thirty" The Mamas and Papas
As of this posting, all 3 vids of this song on YouTube either come in a bit late or cut off too soon at the end. This one cuts off too soon at the end, but is the least hurt by it, in my opinion. It's also a little short on visual imagery as well, but let's you concentrate on the images in the lyrics. Enjoy!

January 10th update. Since the above video has been withdrawn, here's a substitute for ya. It cuts off short at the end, and is missing the very first line, "I used to live in New York City" but everything else is there...including John's signature fur hat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFZPop3CRCQ