SING ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE, EVEN IF YOUR BREATH OFFENDS

On today's menu: "I Love Onions" by Susan Christie, 1966

Working with what you love is good advice for just about any endeavor, so it should come as no surprise that someone has made a song about this lowly (but versatile) veggie. A lot of people would probably say they love onions, and onions are no less deserving of a song all their own than any other food item. But even so, this tune undoubtedly must be classified more as a novelty than a true love song. It has all the fun elements: amusing lyrics, an unusual voice (a certain Marilyn-Monroe-Happy-Birthday-Mr.-President quality), the goofy onion oration part in the middle, and last but not least, some virtuoso kazoo (for more on the kazoo, see my Nov. 6, 2007 post).

I must admit that beyond remembering this song from my teen years, I didn't know a thing about Susan Christie. So I looked for a bio, and discovered that, in addition to her one (minor) hit wonder status, she had aspirations as a folk singer. Apparently her somewhat startling approach (All Music Guide calls it "acid folk") to a few folk standards didn't win her a contract back in the late 60s, and her demos sat in dusty obscurity until 2006, when they were put out on CD. At the moment I'm debating if I want to check it out or not; I may get back to you. Meanwhile, let's return to the onion patch.

As I typed in a search for this one on YouTube, I was kind of holding my breath, then to my happy surprise someone has indeed posted a video of this song. Someone with really adorable kids, I might add. A few of you may recognize this song from your own youth, watching Captain Kangaroo. It's also been recycled as a commercial for Turtles candy - "Oooo, I love Turtles." Given their choice of snacks, who wouldn't prefer to end up with Turtle breath? Anyway, here's the lyrics and a link so you can check it out for yourselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADxjvXC7wOo

TITLE: I Love Onions
ARTIST: Donald Cochrane and John Hill

I don't like snails or toads or frogs
Or strange things living under logs
But mmm, I love onions

I don't like to dance with Crazy Ted
He's always jumping on my head
But mmm, I love onions

{Refrain}
Onions, onions, la-la-la
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot
Onions, onions, la-la-la
Onions, onions, ha-ha-ha
Root doot doot-doot, doot doot doot

I don't like rain or snow or hail
Or Moby Dick the great white whale
But mmm, I love onions

I don't like shoes that pinch your toes
Or people who squirt you with a garden hose
But mmm, I love onions

{Refrain}

Onion is a tuberous vegetable, and is a member of the genus Stinkus Delicioso. It was highly prized by the ancient Egyptian pharaohs and their friends and cousins. It causes watering of the eyes and rubifaction of the skin but it is very, very tasty.

{Refrain}

How vewwy, vewwy good